THE SOCIETY WE LIVE IN TODAY...

Did you know that it's all about ME?

What are you going to do for ME?

When can YOU come over and help ME?

I gotta look out for ME!

What did you buy for ME?

Why didn't you buy something for ME?

Are you going to take ME out?

I want all eyes on ME?

Look at ME!

If I don't look out for ME, who will?

There is nobody in my world but ME!

When was the last time you called ME?

Did you buy ME something for my birthday?

That's all you're going to give ME?

Hey...you better recognize it's all about ME?

You better give ME what I deserve!

Call ME!

Take care of ME!

Help ME pay my bills!

Don't you see ME?

When you will recognize it's 100%  ALL about MEEEEEEEEE?

Where is the Love?

When I was a child I was intimidated by men. Maybe it was partly due to the fact that I saw some of the women in my life cry many tears over broken relationships. It seemed as if men were able to easily walk away from their families and start a new one without flinching, leaving the woman high and dry. I feared being cheated on and I hated seeing the emotional upheaval that sometimes came along with relationships.

At one point I wondered if the negative issues I encountered in my life would mar my perception of men for the rest of my life. As I grew up and went through trials and tribulations with the male species, there was a short space in time when my hope for a lasting relationship was dashed, but it was very brief. I prayed to God and I was adamant in telling him that I knew he had someone special out there for me...I had faith! Then one sunny day in February of 1998 that hope was resurrected when I met HIM! We became friends and shared stories, then several months later we became boyfriend and girlfriend. Finally came that special day August 20, 1999 my life changed forever...HE ask me to marry him and for the first time ever I was very excited about my future because finally LOVE presented itself...not a bill payer, baller or high roller, but a real person to SHARE my life with.

Finally July 29, 2000 came and we stood before God, our family and friends and I said "I Do" to Lucien Anderson Humphreys. Now it's almost 9 years later and we are slowly and steadily building our life together. His love, affection and care has changed my perception of men but it's also partly due to the fact that I've realized life is 99% perception and 1% what you do! In addition, I've learned: selfishness has no place in a marriage: your issues grow larger when they are not dealt with and forgiveness is vital and it's always a gift to each other. The irony? The word perfect has no place in a marriage because people are not perfect so why would we expect a marriage to be that way? The best thing a couple can do is to surround themselves with supportive family and friends and enjoy the twist and turns of this mystery we call marriage. Moreover, "It takes a village to keep a marriage together!"

Oftentimes men and women these days sound as if they have lost hope especially where relationships are concerned. Love is slowly transitioning into a thief in the night, one that robs people of joy and happiness. Love has become the bad guy in the story who beats up people and leave them stripped of their emotional happiness. But as I reflect, I wonder, is it Love that's doing all of this or has the effects of avoidance, narcissism, anger, frustration and resentment overshadowed love and all the good things that are supposed to accompany it? Society is always over-analyzing and changing love, turning hopefuls away with their head cast down leaving them no hope for the future. Could it be that in this instant gratification world we live in, Love is fading because it takes too much patience and understanding? It is because Love is humble, not boastful and Love demands a certain amount of selflessness?

As a person who has seen and heard so much where relationships are concerned, I've always put my faith and best bet on love because its inside of us all and it's the one true thing that we are guaranteed if we allow it to manifest. At some point we have to decide whether we want to allow the love within us to be masked with the negativity that seems to overflow in our society today, or we can choose to protect this precious God given emotion with all our might.

Now...love comes at a price and it's called always maintaining respect, trust, honesty, faithfulness and caring. One things for sure, love isn't the enemy so I wish people would stop making it the "bad guy." Men have their ways and so do women, but the bottom line is we need each other.

Today take the time to appreciate the man and woman in your life. Look them in the eye and tell them you love them. If you are not good with words write it, let them know all the things that they do RIGHT, Kiss that person and make them feel like your life is complete with them in it.

Women, Sunday is Father's day, make the men in your life feel special....HAPPY FATHERS DAY!

One of my favorite quotes this week says it all: In those times we yearn to have more in our lives, we should dwell on the things we already have. In doing so, we will often find that our lives are already full to overflowing. ~Jim Stovall~

Be Blessed and have a wonderful week.

Are you HAPPY?

Happiness is a verb...

Have you ever come across a person who complains all the time, is quick to anger, constantly talks negative about other people or constantly thinks the glass is half empty, yet when you talk to them they swear they are happy? They walk around with their eyebrows furrowed, they hardly say hello, is usually self-centered, anti-social and always seems to have a grievance with someone.

Conversely, have you ever seen someone who lights up a room when they walk in? They greet everyone pleasantly with a smile, kiss or hug. Their demeanor is often very pleasant, they are quick to laugh and very considerate of others. They give of their resources or time and look for the good in people. When you look at them you get a good feeling in your heart because their actions are not contrived or forced, it just pours naturally from them....happy people usually bring out the best in others.

When someone is happy it's usually not because of their material possessions, they are not defined by titles, they don't always have fame or fortune, they are sometimes a regular person from around the way. Happiness usually comes from vast sources; a person being comfortable in their skin, self confidence (not narcissism), a sense of faith or a connection to a higher being. They come from a place of understanding that the glass is always half full and there is always good lurking around the corner.

Happiness comes in many different packages, but one things for sure, you never have to tell people how happy you are because happiness shines through your actions and behavior. This is not to say that happy people are perfect and don't get frustrated or upset, but they are usually content and their motive is never to hurt people. Happy people are rarely rude, disrespectful or mean spirited because happiness brings out the best in people, not the worst.

So I ask you today, Are you happy?

Have a wonderful, blessed and HAPPY Holiday weekend.

I'm having an Affair....

I have a secret to share with you, I've been having a love affair for many years now. Lucien has been suspecting something but I've been keeping my affair under wraps. This love affair has created quite a source of unhappiness and anxiety in my life. As a result, it has unraveled different aspects of my life in ways I could never imagine. Last year I had one aspect of my affair under control, but there are other aspects that I'm still fighting. However, I have finally decided I don't want to be in an unhealthy situation any longer so I've decided tonight that I'm getting my act together and finally letting go of bread, rice and pasta. Sugar was a big fight for me, but I finally let him go last December and now I can see sugar and I have very little emotions toward him.

These nemesis have been with me for quite a while, but now it's time to let them go even though my heart aches. I'm so used to them, but when I put on my jeans and dresses, the havoc that they are wreaking on my thighs and waistline is not worth the wonderful taste and comfort that it gives my stomach. I sometimes think about bread and how great he tastes after i spread butter over his warm, moist body...there is just nothing like it; but over time, I realized that bread has no love for me. All he wants to do is sit on my hips and thighs and create all sorts of bulges and dimples that I don't deserve to have.

Yes, i'm ending my affair because I deserve better and I just wanted to let you all know so I will have accountability. If you see me slipping up and reaching out for bread, rice or pasta, please remind me that they are my enemy. Sometimes when we are in an abusive situation it's very easy to revert back to negative sources. I'm sure I can count on all of you to have my back.

If at any time you see bread, rice or pasta around me, please call an intervention. I would suggest reaching out to my reinforcement team, veggies, fruit and whole grain. They are always there on the sidelines ready to take action when called to duty.

These past few years have been hard for me, but after looking around, i realized that when you stay in bad relationships they manifest and that manifestation can lead to things that can eventually cause death. Bread, Rice and Pasta can assist in diminishing your health and some of the consequence of staying in this affair can lead to: diabetes, hypertension, excess weight gain, cellulite, belly fat, constipation and the list goes on and on.

So my advice to you is, if you have been having a secret affair with the above, follow my lead and let go of anything unhealthy. I love my body and i want to be healthy for my family and friends and even more importantly my husband and my cute doggie Sketch.

Be healthy and take care of your body. Diabetes is one of the top killers in our society, cutting back on unrefined carbs and sugar can make a big difference in your life. Come on everyone, lets end these affairs! Make this week a lean protein, fruit, veggie and healthy whole grain week!

Peace and Blessings to you all!

Preying money

The number 9 is a very interesting!

The number 9 represents completeness. It marks the end of the human gestation period and the end of a series of numbers (1-10), as well as a complete circle (360 degrees = 3 + 6 + 0 = 9). Christ completed his life and died at the ninth hour. Nine categories of people are called 'blessed' in the Sermon on the Mount. 9 is a complete number: if multiplied by any other number it always reproduces itself (3 x 9 = 27 = 2 + 7 = 9).

If this calculation is true, this leaves a lot of hope for the upcoming year. However, we still have to leave room for the unknown.

My husband and I brought in New Years at the watch night service at Abyssinian Baptist Church in Harlem NY. During the Sermon, Our pastor preached about the importance of positive thinking and making time for family and friends as much as possible. He said something that really resonated with me and that is "we cannot serve two Gods!" Many of us serve the God of money, material possessions and so many of us spend so much time on the job that it becomes our alter of worship. When we don't have balance in our lives it throws off the natural cycle of our living.

There is no doubt that money is necessary to live and be comfortable in this world. Money allows us to have freedom of choices (where we live, eat, travel, work etc). Right now our economy is in turmoil and it's effects are resonating throughout the country and world. Many are in panic mode because there is currently a shortage in so many areas of our society. I get a bit apprehensive everytime I watch the news because of all the layoffs....there is no doubt that these are tight times.

Everyone is on a quest to find more money whether people are working or not, money seems to be a rare commodity these days. Recently I found myself thinking of all the ways I can make money. I have been taking on all sorts opportunities here and there, spreading myself thin trying to committ to everything. At the end of the day I felt myself overwhelmed and frustrated. I know a little about this and that but mastering very few things and it's not a good feeling. I've decided to make some changes in my life this year and focus on my true hearts desires and talents. But overall, my most important focus is growing my family.

In 2009 we have the opportunity to start over again and try to make things right. It's important to be realistic about your goals and try not to procrastinate; make sure you schedule your time effectively and you will see that balance of family, work and play is very attainable. This is a good year, but every year is a good one as long as our outlook on life is positive. That outlook also applies to the bad things. When bad things happen (and they will), putting them in perspetive is very helpful in keeping a positive outlook.

Worry less, Be more humble and grateful, stay prayerful and wish others well.....

God bless.