To my unborn child...

The day I found out I was pregnant with you, I didn't know what to say or do. As I looked at the little white mechanism in the palm of my hand with a bright pink line which indicates "pregnancy" I was floored. I took 3 more tests just to make sure I wasn't seeing things. I looked down at what I call my "kangaroo pouch" and I caressed my belly. Tears of gratitude streamed down my cheeks and gathered at the base of my chin and dripped on my hands and down to the floor. I wanted to celebrate more but the years of struggle that i went through trying to get this point, made me cautious.

I sat on my couch and said a prayer for your journey to be safe and for you to be a beautiful healthy baby. Many times I felt like somehow I was forgotten when it came to having children, but my journey of trials and tribulations has lead me down a path of realizing that God never makes a mistake. Sometimes he takes his time because he has a special plan for your life and now, more than ever I get it. I wanted to call all my family and friends but once again, I decided to wait for the right moment. I wanted to wait until you have grown a bit, until the day I hear your heart beat.

That same night I told your father, I waited until after we had dinner. I ate healthy and made sure I chewed every morsel of my food properly, I ate a balanced meal to ensure that you are nourished to the best of my ability. After dinner, I walked over to my desk and picked up my evidence of your existence and I handed it to your father. He looked confused and wasn't sure what it was that i was giving him. I told him to look at it again and suddenly, he jumped up from the table and hugged me so tight I thought he was going to break me into two. His eyes twinkled as he got onto his knees and pressed his cheek to my belly. He looked up at me teary eyed and thankful...he didn't have to say much because I knew what his eyes were saying. Like me, he contained his excitement and we said a prayer for your safe journey.

The proceeding months were happy and uneventful and with each month that you grew, I didn't care about the changes taking place in my body, all i wanted was to hold you in my arms. The night you were born, I was scared because I had never felt pain so palpable, but the anticipation of seeing you somewhat eased my discomfort. As I held on to your father and 3 nurses, i pushed with all my heart and soul; my eyes feeling like they are going to pop out of my head and my body stretching to it's capacity. Suddenly it's like time froze when I heard your cry.  Everyone's face lit up with joy and your father cried out for joy, you made your grand entrance into the world and what a privilege I felt as they laid you on my chest. I cried uncontrollably because of the indescribable love I felt seeing your little face. We steered at each other for some time as i held your little body against mine, i didn't want to put you down, i wanted to savor every minute. Your father wrapped his arms around us and it was like the planet shifted for me. At that moment, my life was changed forever and i promised God that I will do everything in my power to make sure your life is filled with love and happiness. Above all, I promised God that you will know him! Welcome home sweetheart, mommy and daddy loves you.