To my unborn child...

The day I found out I was pregnant with you, I didn't know what to say or do. As I looked at the little white mechanism in the palm of my hand with a bright pink line which indicates "pregnancy" I was floored. I took 3 more tests just to make sure I wasn't seeing things. I looked down at what I call my "kangaroo pouch" and I caressed my belly. Tears of gratitude streamed down my cheeks and gathered at the base of my chin and dripped on my hands and down to the floor. I wanted to celebrate more but the years of struggle that i went through trying to get this point, made me cautious.

I sat on my couch and said a prayer for your journey to be safe and for you to be a beautiful healthy baby. Many times I felt like somehow I was forgotten when it came to having children, but my journey of trials and tribulations has lead me down a path of realizing that God never makes a mistake. Sometimes he takes his time because he has a special plan for your life and now, more than ever I get it. I wanted to call all my family and friends but once again, I decided to wait for the right moment. I wanted to wait until you have grown a bit, until the day I hear your heart beat.

That same night I told your father, I waited until after we had dinner. I ate healthy and made sure I chewed every morsel of my food properly, I ate a balanced meal to ensure that you are nourished to the best of my ability. After dinner, I walked over to my desk and picked up my evidence of your existence and I handed it to your father. He looked confused and wasn't sure what it was that i was giving him. I told him to look at it again and suddenly, he jumped up from the table and hugged me so tight I thought he was going to break me into two. His eyes twinkled as he got onto his knees and pressed his cheek to my belly. He looked up at me teary eyed and thankful...he didn't have to say much because I knew what his eyes were saying. Like me, he contained his excitement and we said a prayer for your safe journey.

The proceeding months were happy and uneventful and with each month that you grew, I didn't care about the changes taking place in my body, all i wanted was to hold you in my arms. The night you were born, I was scared because I had never felt pain so palpable, but the anticipation of seeing you somewhat eased my discomfort. As I held on to your father and 3 nurses, i pushed with all my heart and soul; my eyes feeling like they are going to pop out of my head and my body stretching to it's capacity. Suddenly it's like time froze when I heard your cry.  Everyone's face lit up with joy and your father cried out for joy, you made your grand entrance into the world and what a privilege I felt as they laid you on my chest. I cried uncontrollably because of the indescribable love I felt seeing your little face. We steered at each other for some time as i held your little body against mine, i didn't want to put you down, i wanted to savor every minute. Your father wrapped his arms around us and it was like the planet shifted for me. At that moment, my life was changed forever and i promised God that I will do everything in my power to make sure your life is filled with love and happiness. Above all, I promised God that you will know him! Welcome home sweetheart, mommy and daddy loves you.

Change is the only thing CONSTANT!!

Over 3 years ago, I made a decision to leave Television, a field that I dreamed about since I was a child...my decision didn't come easy. After giving myself almost 4 years to check out the news industry, I came to a cross road and I realized that maybe I needed to go in a different direction. This decision was partly due to the hectic schedule of television, the clawing up the ladder and other issues I choose not to mention. I had to decide which direction I wanted to go in and what was more important in my life. After much meditation and prayer, I chose my home life and to try something I've always dreamed of doing above everything else...working for myself!

When I put in my resignation I was scared, but I didn't allow my fear of change to limit me...so I pressed on.  I have yet to have regrets about my decision to branch out and explore my life.
I truly believe God has my back so I've been letting go and letting God do his work. Being independent and working for myself have been very interesting to say the least!  I could never receive the knowledge I've been fortunate to receive from any university on the planet. In addition, I've expanded my social circle tremendously.   I've had ups and downs, but I never let those stop me and I've adopted looking at every experience as a part of a larger picture and try to learn the lesson in everything I do.

There is no doubt that change can be intimidating.  However, it's vital that you identify your goals, believe in yourself and most importantly take action...unstoppable action toward your goals.  If we are not working toward something greater, we will continue to just "exist" on a daily basis. Existing in my opinion is much harder to do than accomplishing goals. Whenever I accomplish a goal I feel exhilarated, my confidence level shoots up and I start to feel like I can do more!   It's also important to note that small goals are made up of larger goals. We sometimes feel like everything we do have to be big, but it's the smaller pieces that add up to the bigger picture and create a steady pace of positive change.

Many are challenged when it comes to facing change, but at the end of the day, it's all about perception. Our world is constantly evolving and in order for us to keep up with the times we have to be open-minded. There is an entire world out here for us to explore.   Step out on faith, try something new, CHALLENGE yourself more and get out of your comfort zone, but know that change wont happen overnight, but it's ok because anything that is of worth takes time.   Get comfortable in your uncomfortable zone!

Success and Prosperity is within all our reach!

SELF DEFENSE

WARNING...this post is very graphic and emotional so read at your own risk!!!

You pseudo sophisticated, sadomasochistic, two timing, lying, jealous, envious, evil, conniving heffa! How dare you disrespect me! You don't know me...you think you do, but you don't! You don't like me because you see in me what you will never have or even come close to having. My inner and outer beauty intimidates you because everything about me is genuine and you can't figure me out. You hate me because God has given me something that you feel you can't have. You want to bleed all over me because that's what you do best. You walk around being nasty and then feel good about hurting others because anger is the only thing you know. You are lonely because your heart is cold and hollow. You are suspicious of everyone but the only person you need to be suspicious of is yourself! You want to pull me down on your level but I will never stoop, because you are toxic waste.  

Take my advice and get help! It doesn't matter how you look physically, when your soul is cold and your behavior is venomous, not even a dog will want to get near you. Everytime you try to hurt me, karma will do a 360 turn right back to you and kick you in the behind.   It may seem like everything is going well for a while but one day when you are unaware...the evil you have laid out will strike you.   Moreover, the anger and meanness that you portray is indicative of your unhappiness because happy people don't behave the way you do...you are transparent like scotch tape.

I charge you today to clean up your act. You are in need of professional help!  You need a good counselor for about a year to help you. Even more importantly, you need God in your life. Until you turn your life around, everything that you touch will turn to stone.

I'm a kind hearted person, but I'm not the one to be messed with!

Ps...believe it or not, you too can be happy once you get right with yourself!

RICH vs. POOR

Rich people believe: “I create my life.” Poor people believe: “Life happens to me.”

Rich people play the money game to win. Poor people play the money game to not lose.

Rich people are committed to being rich. Poor people want to be rich.

Rich people think big. Poor people think small.

Rich people focus on opportunities. Poor people focus on obstacles.

Rich people admire other rich and successful people. Poor people resent rich and successful people.

Rich people associate with positive, successful people. Poor people associate with negative or unsuccessful people.

Rich people are willing to promote themselves and their value. Poor people think negatively about selling and promotion.

Rich people are bigger than their problems. Poor people are smaller than their problems.

Rich people are excellent receivers. Poor people are poor receivers.

Rich people choose to get paid based on results. Poor people choose to get paid based on time.

Rich people think “both”. Poor people think “either/or”.

Rich people focus on their net worth. Poor people focus on their working income.

Rich people manage their money well. Poor people mismanage their money well.

Rich people have their money work hard for them. Poor people work hard for their money.

Rich people act in spite of fear. Poor people let fear stop them. (Eker says that successful people act in spite of this fear. They move beyond worry, they “fake it til they make it”, learning as they go. Unsuccessful people do nothing at all.)

Rich people constantly learn and grow. Poor people think they already know.
 
ARE YOU RICH OR POOR?

EGO...

He walks into the room, chest high, nose in the air, he's immaculately dressed. He looks around the room at everyone with a snobbish grin as if he's above and beyond everyone. When a person speaks he's quick to answer the question because he feels he has all the answers that everyone in the room needs to hear. He speaks loudly to get everyone's attention. The people in the room look on with an annoyance..half listening to what he says. He continues speaking with a loud booming voice ensuring that every ear is filled with his information. As he speaks, the audience's sarcastic eyes are on him and he feels good...he's getting what he wants and that's attention.

Moments past and he's still talking, he lets out a joke and laughs at himself and suddenly he realizes he's the only one laughing so he abruptly stops and rolls his eyes. He continues speaking, pacing back and forth. Slowly the room starts to empty one by one as he continues to be caught up in his own world. A woman gets up to walk out and he tells her to sit back down because he's not finished...as one of the 3 people left in the room, she ignores his request and walk out. He shoos her with his hand as she exit's the room. He zero's in on the guy and girl left in the room he walks up closer to them making sure they listen to him as he preaches on.

Finally the guy in the room stands up, looks him in the face and says "look around, haven't you noticed, that we are the only two people left in the room? You have yet to interact with the crowd, people have raised their hands to speak and you ignored their request, you have talked over everyone and enforced your opinions on all the guests. Don't you think you should stop?" He stood there smiling and declared "they left the room because they are jealous of me and they could never deliver information the way I can" The guy shakes his head and walks out of the room and the last woman followed. Ego was left standing by himself.
Note: Egos can lead you down a very lonely path!

MEGA MILLIONS...

I checked the numbers one by one and as I confirmed each number my heart started racing.  I started to feel like all the blood was rushing to my head. My body started to go numb as I once again check the numbers...this couldn't be...EVERY SINGLE NUMBER FOR THE MEGA MILLIONS IS ON MY TICKET!! OH. MY. GOD!!!!!

I jump up from my chair and bit my knuckles as my legs take on a life of their own. I want to scream but the sound cannot come from my mouth. I want to pick up the phone and call my family and start screaming, but I can't...not yet, I open my front door and I look at the road in front of me and I want to strip off my clothes and run naked down the street screaming, but quickly figure out that I may get arrested...that would be super disasterous especially now. I close my door and my doggie Sketch runs behind me mirroring my excitement, his tail wagging swiftly as he tries to figure out what's going on. I pick him up and whirl him around, put him down and run up the stairs. I stood on the landing for a moment trying to figure out what I went upstairs for and couldn't remember. I then run down stairs and fall on my knees..."Thank you God...THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!" While kneeling, i start rocking back and forth and the tears stream from my eyes as I clutch my dreams, hopes, plans and security in the palm of my hands...I never knew I would enjoy holding a small piece of paper so much. I kiss the ticket and hold it up to the ceiling and I allow the tears and the feeling of joy to envelope me, I felt the pure, raw, feeling of freedom...free from wanting or needing. I cried for myself, my family and friends whose lives are about to change....overwhelming is an understatement.

Finally I get up, pick up my doggie and reach for my cell phone. I call my husband "baby where are you?" he said "i'm almost home." I smiled "great, cant wait to see you" and hung up. As his car pulled up, Sketch and I waited anxiously for him to enter the house. As he enters, I run up to him hugging him tight and sobbing into his chest, his eyes are bewildered "what's the matter baby" I looked him in the eyes "We are free, finally free" and I hand him the ticket. He looks at it still not getting it and I said we won the lottery...he bites his knuckles, throws his suit jacket to the ground as his arms and legs take on a life of their own and then he lets out a gutteral scream that one can probably hear from a mile away as the tears stream down his cheeks and we embrace...freedom is the best feeling in the world.

QUEEN...

I walked through the crowd, shoulders back, head held high wearing a ruffle blouse, high waist pencil skirt and peep toe heels with a matching clutch under my arm and hair neatly coiffed. I was feeling good within every ounce of my being from my hair root to my toes nails; my smile and body language said it all.

I walked by a group of women standing with wine glasses in their hand and they all looked at me as I approached them. As I got closer, I smiled and gave a slight curtsey "good afternoon ladies!" Two reciprocated, but the rest had a blank stare. Their eyes followed me as I made my way to the stage. I noticed a few brothers staring and my response was the same...a sweet smile, followed by a slight curtsey.

I walked behind the curtains to the back of the stage and the butterflies in my stomach started to erupt. I walked into the restroom and checked my makeup and touched up my lip gloss. I put down my clutch on the counter and closed my eyes and took some slow, deep, methodical breaths and said a prayer. I opened my eyes, smiled at myself in the mirror and made my way to the stage entrance. My assistant ran over to me and handed me my itinerary and notes. "You look great!" I smiled and thanked her. Suddenly I heard a loud applause and my name being called...I walked out on stage to the podium, confident, humbled and grateful. I shook the hand of the host and looked into the crowd. My eyes landed on the group of women I first encountered when I arrived. Their body language was that of intrigue, I smiled at them and for some reason, they boosted my confidence. Suddenly i decided to change my script. I turned over my papers and I let my spirit guide me....

"Queen a powerful word.  A queen is you, me and every woman in this room. A queen is a humble, confident women who is in charge of her life. She knows God and realize that her body, mind and soul is sacred. She is grateful for her blessings and doesn't diminish herself to make another person feel good; instead, she motivates,encourages and helps others. She knows how to multi-task without being overwhelmed and knows how to delegate when she is in need of a break. Queens are not perfect, they come with flaws and in all shapes, sizes and colors.  They feel what you feel, but they are in control of their emotions and doesn't "bleed" all over everyone. Queens take care of themselves to the best of their ability and they don't make excuses for not taking care of self because a queen knows that if she's no good to herself, she's no good to anyone else. Queens don't need to be envious or jealous of another because she's aware of the fact that whatever she wants out of life, she has the ability to get it. Queens realize that we all have a unique God given talent.   Queens have many friends for different purposes and she respects and understand the power of the female connection and the fact that we all need it. A queen knows how to disagree without being hurtful (for the most part) and how to be honest and upfront. She is confident about her talents and abilities and she's decisive about what she wants. A queen knows how to balance her husband, children, pets, family and friends. She doesn't worry much about what others think or say, she lives her life with purpose, passion and truth. A queen reigns supreme....that's you, me and every woman in this world. Love the queen in you and the women in your life.....Thank you!"  I looked at the group of women in the crowd and they were all crying, I blew them a kiss.
    

The applause was loud and the tears streamed down my cheeks. A queen is not afraid to be emotional in front of hundreds of people.

Be blessed.

What are you thinking?

When you wake up in the morning are you thankful that you woke up? When you get dressed to leave the house for work, are you thankful that you have a job?  If not, how miserable it must be to wake up on any given day and not look forward to your day. I'm not saying that every day of our lives will be pure bliss, but I'm realizing that truly, we are Assistant directors of our destiny (God is the director) and the choices we make has a huge impact on our day. One of the great balancers of life is knowing that you have the choice to fix everyday trial and tribulations and turn them into something useful rather than allowing them to determine your mood.

I used to hate waking up at the crack of dawn and making the hour long commute to a 9-5 job. If mass transit was not working, it made the process even more mentally, emotionally and physically challenging.  Moreover, I hated having someone control my day, determining when I can go to lunch and when I can take a day off. However, at the time, to get me through, I had to reach down deep within my mind and find the temporary purpose of my job and that purpose was paying my bills and taking care of other financial obligations in my life. When I found that my need to be away from the job superceeded my mental ability to override the unhappiness, it was time to leave.

I find that our mental processing is vital in our daily survival. It is more harmful to your body and soul to be miserable and angry. It is a known fact that stress is one of the first degree murderers in our society. Stress will find a space within your body and attack, suddenly out of nowhere you may have a massive heart attack, cancer or some deadly disease. The good news is you have control over stress, anxiety, frustration and anger. A positive mindset among other healthy practices (ie, working out, eating healthy, taking vitamins) can be a great stabilizer in your overall well being.

Our minds are trainable to be positive just like it's trainable to be negative. Like anything else, they say it takes 20 days for something to become a habit...if that's the case, then how about training your mind to think positive. Decide that you WILL NOT sabotage yourself with negative comments (i'm fat, I'm not attractive, my thighs are too big) and replace it with something like "i'm beautiful and I love every inch of my body." Even if you don't believe initially, eventually, If you keep repeating this several times a day for 2 weeks, you will see an immediate change in the way you feel about your body.  Oddly enough, your body may thank you in ways that may surprise you! When we are happy, there are certain endorphins that our body releases that's not only healthy for our body, but it helps to keep us in a good mood.

In whatever you do, start each day with some positive affirmation about yourself or life. Take that affirmation with you throughout each day, week and year. When the negative messages invade your mind (and they will), push it aside and replace it with your affirmation, say it 10 times. This practice alone will start to make some really positive changes in your life and how you think and feel about yourself.

Peace, Love and Blessings.

Family....

When I think of family several words come to mind; respect, love, support, togetherness, loyalty, kindness, friendship and honesty. Certainly, I don't believe the people closest to us are perfect, but I do feel that if you are close to someone, there should be a certain level of security/comfort/love. However, as we look around us, how many of us can truly say we have all or most of the above in our family? As I grow and mature in my thinking, my perspective is changing and my definition of family and even friendship has shifted almost because I had no choice. Oftentimes I feel like our own views on family and friendship has caused many of us years of unnecessary pain. We look at our mothers, fathers, sisters, grandparents and other family members almost as deities that has an unlimited supply of endurance for drama! Too often, family members feel it's ok to take advantage of each other, saying anything that comes to mind...being demanding, disrespectful, dishonest, rude, crude and the list goes on.

I've always wondered what would happen if metaphorically speaking family was like your boss? Would you go in to work whenever you want? Tell your boss to shut up? disrespect? slam or take advantage of this person? If you did, what do you think would be the consequence? I would think that this kind of behavior would call for you being fired or at the very least be written up and given a strict warning. Why is it that some family and friends feel like it's ok to hurt the people close to them and conversely why is it that the recipient family member/friend feel like they should take it?

The answer basically is: YOU DON'T HAVE TO TAKE IT! Just like a boss can fire an employee, if someone close to you is treating you with impunity or being harmful in any way, you have a right to remove yourself from the person's presence! It is a known fact that the people closest to you tend to be the most hurtful because they usually know the most about you and what makes you tick. However, just because you are close to someone does not give them the right to use their knowledge about you....against you...it is NEVER ok to be hurtful. It's imperative that you COMMAND and GIVE respect to the people closest to you! I have seen and even experienced the blatant disrespect that can sometimes come from the people closest to you and it can be extremely painful and have a long lasting damaging effect.

It's time that people stand up and command respect from each other and it's time that people realize that they have control over their life! It's time for this negative cycle to stop. If you have someone in your life that is hurting you mentally, physically or emotionally, then it's time for you to see that person for who they are and move away from their negativity. It is a known fact that you teach people how to treat you! If you allow toxic waste to spill all over you and you don't take action, then after a while it's not the fault of the hurtful family or friends...it's YOUR fault! Be strong and protect your well being because at the end of the day, it's ALL you got!

Matthew 18:8 "If your hand or your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it from you; it is better for you to enter life crippled or lame, than to have two hands or two feet and be cast into the eternal fire.

Have a wonderful and blessed week!