Where is the Love?

When I was a child I was intimidated by men. Maybe it was partly due to the fact that I saw some of the women in my life cry many tears over broken relationships. It seemed as if men were able to easily walk away from their families and start a new one without flinching, leaving the woman high and dry. I feared being cheated on and I hated seeing the emotional upheaval that sometimes came along with relationships.

At one point I wondered if the negative issues I encountered in my life would mar my perception of men for the rest of my life. As I grew up and went through trials and tribulations with the male species, there was a short space in time when my hope for a lasting relationship was dashed, but it was very brief. I prayed to God and I was adamant in telling him that I knew he had someone special out there for me...I had faith! Then one sunny day in February of 1998 that hope was resurrected when I met HIM! We became friends and shared stories, then several months later we became boyfriend and girlfriend. Finally came that special day August 20, 1999 my life changed forever...HE ask me to marry him and for the first time ever I was very excited about my future because finally LOVE presented itself...not a bill payer, baller or high roller, but a real person to SHARE my life with.

Finally July 29, 2000 came and we stood before God, our family and friends and I said "I Do" to Lucien Anderson Humphreys. Now it's almost 9 years later and we are slowly and steadily building our life together. His love, affection and care has changed my perception of men but it's also partly due to the fact that I've realized life is 99% perception and 1% what you do! In addition, I've learned: selfishness has no place in a marriage: your issues grow larger when they are not dealt with and forgiveness is vital and it's always a gift to each other. The irony? The word perfect has no place in a marriage because people are not perfect so why would we expect a marriage to be that way? The best thing a couple can do is to surround themselves with supportive family and friends and enjoy the twist and turns of this mystery we call marriage. Moreover, "It takes a village to keep a marriage together!"

Oftentimes men and women these days sound as if they have lost hope especially where relationships are concerned. Love is slowly transitioning into a thief in the night, one that robs people of joy and happiness. Love has become the bad guy in the story who beats up people and leave them stripped of their emotional happiness. But as I reflect, I wonder, is it Love that's doing all of this or has the effects of avoidance, narcissism, anger, frustration and resentment overshadowed love and all the good things that are supposed to accompany it? Society is always over-analyzing and changing love, turning hopefuls away with their head cast down leaving them no hope for the future. Could it be that in this instant gratification world we live in, Love is fading because it takes too much patience and understanding? It is because Love is humble, not boastful and Love demands a certain amount of selflessness?

As a person who has seen and heard so much where relationships are concerned, I've always put my faith and best bet on love because its inside of us all and it's the one true thing that we are guaranteed if we allow it to manifest. At some point we have to decide whether we want to allow the love within us to be masked with the negativity that seems to overflow in our society today, or we can choose to protect this precious God given emotion with all our might.

Now...love comes at a price and it's called always maintaining respect, trust, honesty, faithfulness and caring. One things for sure, love isn't the enemy so I wish people would stop making it the "bad guy." Men have their ways and so do women, but the bottom line is we need each other.

Today take the time to appreciate the man and woman in your life. Look them in the eye and tell them you love them. If you are not good with words write it, let them know all the things that they do RIGHT, Kiss that person and make them feel like your life is complete with them in it.

Women, Sunday is Father's day, make the men in your life feel special....HAPPY FATHERS DAY!

One of my favorite quotes this week says it all: In those times we yearn to have more in our lives, we should dwell on the things we already have. In doing so, we will often find that our lives are already full to overflowing. ~Jim Stovall~

Be Blessed and have a wonderful week.